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I’m no Newt Scamander, but I would like to point out a few deadly critters that you may want to keep an eye out for – and maybe use a “kill it with fire” approach. These animals may look “cute” to some (especially Hagrid), but these predators are the real deal – and some people have been killed by them.

So, let me dive into something I would call a PSA for the “OH, HELL NOPE!” North America Version:

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American Grizzly Bears: aka brown bears, they can be found in a large area ranging from Alaska, through Western Canada, and into the American Northwest. Their black bear variants are plenty vicious and have been known to break into a camper’s tent, then drag the poor fool away and kill them. Bear attacks in North America on average come in at 2.5 fatalities per year. Some have been known to tank (literally) a shotgun blast and keep on coming.

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Sharks: The bull, white, and tiger shark variants have been known to sometimes come close to several popular US beaches along the US coasts. Normally, shark attacks are rare – but every now, and then you’ll hear about them – especially during the summer months. Not all attacks result in a fatality, though – so even though you’ve gotten a bigger boat, it’s best to not temp fate.

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Rattlesnakes: They love deserts, especially the ones spread out in the dryer parts of the United States. If you’re bitten, better get antivenom within the next 2 hours or it’s goodnight, sleep tight permanently. On average, around 8,000 snake bites have been reported per year – a few of them are fatalities.

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Alligators: Whether they be allegedly in sewers, or around the Florida everglades and marshlands and the rest of the Southeastern United States, these ornery reptiles can lead to fatalities. From around the late forties to today, around at least close 300 attacks have been documented so far. The last documented fatal attack was in 2020.

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American Bison: They’re charging speed has been clocked in at about 40 mph, able to jump 6 feet into the air without aid of a pogo stick or trampoline, and weigh in excess of 2,000 pounds. That means they can hit you and make it feel like a runaway freight train and if you ever survive a collision unscathed, buy a lotto ticket you lucky SOB. If you ever encounter them at the National Parks, stay clear of them. They have a natural restraining order warning of “DO NOT GO NEARER THAN 330 FEET OF THEM OR ELSE”.

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Arizona Black Scorpions: Looks like Australia isn’t the only place where just about everything can kill you. Since the 1980’s, roughly more than 800 people have been killed by these critters – that we know of. They can be found in dryer regions in Arizona (hence the name) and in other parts of the Southwestern United States near deserts, and dry river beds. They’ve also started invading homes as well in those parts, bringing the fear factor upwards of the “I will kill it with fire” response.

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Black Widow Spider: nope, I don’t mean Scarlett Johansson (though she’s very deadly in her own right) – I mean the actual spider. Some of them can be found right here in the U.S. of A. around the Northwestern to Southwestern areas along the Mexico borders. Side note: the western black widows are also found in populated areas almost everywhere in California. They typically nest outside, and inside the home in holes, crevices, and within clutter. Yee-haw, comrade!

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Coyotes: smaller relatives to the red wolves in North America, these guys are pack-minded animals like their wolf cousins. These animals clock in at around 35 to 43 mph in “pursuit” mode when going after prey. They don’t attack humans much, but they’re deadly for a different reason: some human drivers are dumb enough to run into them on the road, killing the canines and themselves in car accidents. Wile E Coyote and the Road Runner would both facepalm at this.

The list could go on and on, but there’s one undisputed KING that’s a danger to everyone and everything everywhere – and they’re not just found in North America: HUMANS.

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Humans: they top every single list of most dangerous creatures ever, along with the highest kill counts imaginable every single time a list like this is made. They’re found everywhere on a planet they call Earth. They come in a variety of shapes and colors, and in a variety of mental capacities that vary from the “very smart” to the kind not even aliens that clandestinely visit would want to probe for fear of catching something. They’re very adept at killing anything and everything, including their planet. Approach with caution; always bring liquor, burgers, pizza, sweets, and drugs that make them fly higher than a kite (but not enough to kill them).

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